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What exactly does a person have to go through to achieve enlightenment?
Today I came across an article that asked, what must one experience to attain great enlightenment? As I read, I felt a small needle gently prick my heart.
It said that the most painful thing is not the completely laid-back person, nor the one desperately striving, but rather those who “waver in the middle.” I paused for a few seconds— isn’t that me? Wanting to get better, but too lazy to move; unwilling to accept failure, yet afraid of hardship. During the day, I carry grand ambitions in my heart; at night, I stay up late scrolling on my phone, going over old emotions repeatedly. Turns out, this exhaustion is a punishment I’ve imposed on myself.
There’s a sentence in the article I kept reading over and over: “Everyone’s opinions are temporary; only your own experiences and achievements accompany you for life.” I seem to have been living backwards—caring too much about how others see me, afraid of embarrassment, mistakes, or judgment, which ends up trapping me in place. But most of the things I fear never actually happen; they’re just stories in my mind.
And there’s another point that hits hard: “You’re afraid to show yourself, afraid to take responsibility, but in fact, you’re afraid of success.” I’ve never thought of myself from this perspective before. Yeah, I tend to hide, claiming it’s “being low-key,” but am I actually avoiding? Avoiding that version of success that might require more effort and accepting more scrutiny from others?
Then there’s the line: “The heart can break, but the hands cannot stop.” Over the years, I seem to have reversed this—when my heart breaks, I collapse and let life waste away. But in the adult world, it turns out, you’re not allowed to stop. You have to keep living normally amid brokenness, continue doing what needs to be done despite the pain—that’s what it means to truly live.
The author says that enlightenment might not come from suddenly understanding some earth-shattering truth, but from “breaking to rebuild”—shattering that sensitive, lazy, always seeking others’ approval version of yourself. Just thinking about this process is terrifying; change means the unknown, and the unknown brings fear. But if I don’t change, I’ll forever be stuck in this in-between state, despising myself.
I put down my phone and walked to the window. It was already dark, and the lights in the buildings outside flickered on one by one.
Suddenly, I feel that the so-called enlightenment might be hidden in these words: no longer wavering between lying flat and striving, choosing a path and walking it seriously; no longer creating fears based on others’ opinions, but taking action and feeling happiness through genuine encounters; no longer fearing brokenness, because after breaking, there’s a chance to piece together a stronger self.
The wind sneaks in through the window crack, cool and refreshing.
I think I have a little idea of what to do now.