Middle age brings a sense of boredom to many things. The once delicious food becomes dull after a few bites of big fish and meat, the 36D curvy lady feels overwhelmed, fun games lose their appeal, and walking on the holiday street watching pedestrians feels monotonous.

You will find that without deep engagement in something, it’s hard to find joy. Eating is less interesting than cooking, flirting is more fun than hitting a home run, shopping is less engaging than running a store, and playing games is less satisfying than figuring out strategies.
Young people may not feel this, and I used to dismiss it too. But in reality, people especially need to deeply engage with certain things or emotions. Emotionally, we need close relationships; if the person isn’t someone we truly accept, even if they are by our side, it can still be lonely and dull.
The simplest way to deepen emotional bonds is through marriage. If not married, close friendships and family bonds can also serve this purpose. Many eccentric behaviors in middle-aged and elderly people stem from a longing for the deep emotional connections they haven’t obtained.
Of course, many marriages are like business deals, and such relationships are less meaningful than childhood friendships. But childhood friends also have issues. When they are short of money and finally ask you without regard for their dignity, how do you handle such situations that threaten the friendship? I have a high school classmate who has disappeared—borrowing thousands to tens of thousands from each classmate. The amounts aren’t large, but he’s gone now; no calls, no messages. My friends didn’t expect him to pay back, but they also don’t answer his calls when he wants to hang out.
Childhood friends are also unreliable. As people age, the need for deep emotional bonds increases. Many elderly people, who haven’t received the emotional fulfillment they need, turn to younger generations, square dancing, senior drinking parties, mahjong, travel groups. These are hard to truly satisfy emotional needs and are inferior to marriage. Having a lifelong partner you trust can solve many emotional issues, promote healthier behavior, and prevent sacrifices made just to seek emotional fulfillment.
A lifetime without marriage can still be happy if you find someone with whom you can balance your emotions. For example, an unbreakable band, even if it’s not very skilled; a few book-loving friends, even if they don’t perform on grand stages. Building solid emotional bonds requires hobbies with high entry barriers, like the story of Yu Boya smashing his qin—an analogy for genuine connection. Low-level activities like drinking, gambling, square dancing, or partying only widen the distance between people and at best satisfy the superiority complex of the wealthy.
Playing games can be considered neutral; having partners to fight alongside can also fulfill emotional needs. Online communities, groups, hobby clubs—these are social activities with certain thresholds. So if you’re not married, then deepen a high-threshold hobby, and finding like-minded friends is equivalent to finding emotional bonds. Without deep engagement in emotions, a person in the world is like a walking corpse. Young people may dismiss this, but sooner or later, they will realize it.